I’m so tired. Yesterday and today I went to the cinema to watch a greek movie and today an English movie with my friend Alex. IT was so funny coz in the Greek movie there were many gays and he said: OMG Alex (a boy in the movie) is a fucking gay hahahahahahahahaha.

Yesterday we arrived 30 mins late to the movie lol. Ok, Ok, I confess I arrived late and Alex was waiting for me. We bought a ticket coz I have class at 8pm so I couldn’t wait for the next movie so we went to the movie theater but there was no one at the door!! !so, we entered free!!! With our tickets at hand!!!

So tonight I said to Alex. I got an idea. Don’t buy a new ticket we will use yesterdays tickets. Lol. We were a bit nervous but it worked hahahahaha. So, we actually just paid for one movie and we watched two!! Well, Alex invited me so I didn’t pay anything hahahaha. I love free things.

By the way, my University is so big that I got lost!!! That’s why I arrived late!!!! About other things, today I went to my mom to the bank and later I was on my way to my work. The fucking subway was sooooo crowded that I lost 30 minutes of my life waiting to be able to take a train. WTF!!!! So, in the afternoon I took my car and drove to my Univeristy. Ohh, I’m a good driver!!! I gave a ride to my friend Alex and went home. I’m eating pancakes now.

My computer is a fucking piece of sh1t. I actually don’t control my laptop my laptop controls me. I’m thinking about buying a MacBook J Since I’m an intellectual girl lol. My thesis topic is still dancing in the middle of nowhere and I’m in the last days of classes. Wow, soon all will be over.

Probably my last days as being a student!! I don’t feel sad or anything about finishing University my boss said: -That happens to people who doesn’t have friends in Uni. LOL She is probably right, I made an angry face when she said that. She laughed and said: well, I wasn’t sad neither when I graduated.

I think is not that true. I have some friends (I think) and to be honest I don’t care. I’m kind of misanthrope hehehe . I believe there must be some people who likes me (I want to believe lol). As Ortega y Gasset said: “"I am myself and my circumstance”. I feel so tired of all. I don’t want to go to my job anymore hehehe I don’t wanna do anything.

Ok, contact me: southern_star@icqmail.com

Kisses!

I’m a bit confused. I have been doing nothing lately. I don’t know. I’m just chillaxing. I woke up happy I got an itching infection but thank god is away now (it was killing me lol). I’m much better now. I still worried about my Thesis work coz I think I don’t like now my topic about water and I want to change it. I must do it fast coz I need to graduate as soon as possible.

It seems I will spend New Year with my friends and later I will go to meet Andrew for some weeks lol. I don’t know if it is a good idea but he doesn’t live that far (just 3.5 hours in plane) and he invites me lol. We spend great time together but I started to feel he can actually fall in love with me. He said today: -I like you so much that it scares me sometimes lol. Hmm, I believe (I want to) that he has clear everything about us even when he told me that if we are still single in like 3 years he would like to have something serious with me lol.

He said he likes me coz I’m warm, affectionate, intelligent and intellectually curious and that he thought he would have women in his life who either would stimulate him intellectually or would be sweet and emotionally supportive and that I’m both for him. (oh my god, I’m so great hehe). Well, it mustn’t be easy to be with someone with a PhD in economics lol. Anyway, I don’t know what will happen in the future but meanwhile I’m enjoying this.

I have said to some of my friends about my last weekend but I haven’t said anything at home. For them I said I was in a trip with my friends what could I say?? Oh yes, I went into a trip with a man 7 years older than me that I met in some random chat? Hehehe and we spend the whole weekend together and have amazing sex? Hehehe. Well, that is actually not true LOL but yes, we spent a lovely time together but I don’t miss him or anything. Hmm maybe coz we talk everyday and had video conferences lol. He gave me 2 books, I’m reading one of them.

Anyway, today I was in a strange mood. I went to eat with mom and Charles to a Spanish-Arab restaurant coz I wanted to eat shawarma! But there was not shawarma!!! Fuck! Anyway, I had kefta :D and I like one of the boys of the kitchen. Oh my god!!! I wanna work as a cook assistant or something like that. I wanna do so many things in my fucking like and I have just realized that being in the Social and Political Sciences Faculty is kinda weird for someone like me.

I was in the cooking lessons before (I wasn’t very good at all) but I wanna learn more, cook is always a good thing. I could go abroad and work in a restaurant with my national food (that is worldwide recognized lol). I wanna learn a lot of things. I’m eager to learn. But I haven’t forgotten about my future as teacher.

So this is how it will go: Xmas, New Year, spend some weeks with Andrew and work on my Thesis, come back, graduate, take a course about how to be a teacher, and I guess going to China. I must learn Chinese for business stuffs. Everybody says and support me to go to China. So, I think that is how I see my future for now. I don’t see a Master’s Degree soon on my way. I must first get experienced and I guess a job. Or I can study online or I don’t know. Everything is so complicated. Let’s see what life will bring. Life is made for courageous and people who take risks. I won’t sit down and see how my life passes.

 by the way: i wanna practice my French :( stp parle avec moi lol

Right now I am in my internship. I was reading the biography of Obama while my boss was doing her job. People has started asking me “what will you do next?”. I don’t have an idea of what I can answer to that. I will finish my lessons in some weeks but I still gotta write my thesis. Some of my friends are already writing their Thesis but I can’t even finish my project. I have doubts about my topic (World wide Water Crisis) I have been working on it but I don’t find it that attractive.

I may write about other stuff. Andrew gave me as present two nice historical books I could use if I choose another topic. I wanted to talk about Andrew about my Thesis topic, but it’s so boring that I forgot about it. He says I should go to visit him after New Year. He would be working but have free time at weekends to go out with me. His idea is that I could work on my Thesis during the week.

Isn’t that crazy?.

Well, I guess it is not. I’d be awesome to be abroad while writing my Thesis or who knows even my Book. Do you remember my book? As you could guessed Sib was my main character now that I’m not longer in love with him I have lost my inspiration.

You also know I decided not going on holidays but I guess I will do a trip for New Year to some mountains where I will also take a train. I will spend there New Year. It will be my second New Year far away home. That will be ok. It seems my mother is going on holidays too.

After finishing with my classes I want to take some time for myself in order to think about what everybody is asking me now: “what will you do next?”.

I don’t know if I will continue studying, get a job or what. I really need time to think about all this but meanwhile writing my Thesis next year with Andrew by my side doesn’t sound bad even though he is not a good kisser lol.  Things can improve, right?

I remember once we were eating. I was drinking coffee and he had a glass of coke and he said: -“Well, I’m not worried about our age difference since you are the one that drinks coffee and I’m the kid with the soda.” LOL  As, I said I had an terrific time with him but I don’t know if we should meet again. He said that I’m the kind of person he would like to settle down in the future. OMG!

Anyway, I think I will spend some days in his city. We are clear to each other. He is a friend I can make out with lol that’s great. He is lonely and so I am lol so we are just having fun together. Yeah. I think it’s a good deal. I feel more confident about myself now. I rock! lol 

Well, boys and girls. I still alive. The weekend was awesome. I met him at the airport. I was looking for him and I saw him first. I walked towards him and I think I said something like: -Hi!

Andrew is pretty nice. Such a gentleman with me. He was so sweet also. I can’t complain. WE took a bus to another city and we finally arrived at 1am lol. The night was a bit cold… but nothing else were cold there lol. He was very into pleasing me. He is sooo nice, such a dream. But I’m not in love with him or anything.  Next day, we went to an Italian Restaurant and had a lovely and expensive meal lol. We talked about “us” and we both agreed if we had another circumstances (like if we lived in the same place) or we were in the same stage of life (he would like I were like 25) we could have a relationship. Unfortunately, that seems impossible for now. And to be honest, I like him but I don’t like him as a boyfriend or something more serious.

Fortunately, (oh yes), I finally can’t separate my mind of my feelings... We were fooling around and having so much fool and ... I’m not in love or anything. Life is great. It’s like a dream. I can’t believe he just came to meet me. He paid for everything of the trip and treated me like a princess. He wants to meet me again and this time I’d go to his place. I don’t know. It could be funny and nice. He spent a lovely time together and what I like the most is that we are not cheating ourselves believing in some kind or “long distance relationship” or anything. We are just taking what life brings.  

I feel happy. This was awesome. :D He came just to meet me lol I must be cool then right? lol

Finally it seems everything is fine. I did my presentation. The topic was so difficult that almost nobody in the class got the point. I was nervous but my professor is cool and he explained us everything about pragmatism. I was looking good. I thought: I know nothing but at least I will look fashionable so people may think this girl is dumb but she is fashion LOL.

After that I went to work and fell asleep sometimes. I’m kinda nervous now. Tomorrow Andrew comes. I’m scared he is a psycho and can kill me or steal my kidneys or force me to work as a prostitute for the rest of my youth. Ok, I’m being silly. I’m sure he is a good person. I googled him and I found he is really researcher of some University and has a PhD, hehe, he must be smart.

I gave his information to a friend of mine and If I don’t come back home on Monday afternoon, he will call home and say what I did. I really hope I’m not doing something stupid. A Friend made me nervous there are many psychos in the world but anyway I have done even crazier things in my life.

Tomorrow (or today) I won’t go to my job hehehe I will tell my boss I’m sick or something. I need time to prepare my things for my “weekend affair” lol.  I’m excited. A bit. I don’t know. I’m sleepy now. Wish me good luck. Pray for me.

I have made up my mind.  Finally, I understand that I’m not in love. It was just a confussion moment and I don’t think I will fall in love with Andrew.  He is a total sweetheart but he is not my love and I’m not his love. I guess we are just lonely people that we meet this Friday woohoo. I will pick him up in the airport and then we will live to another city. Some of my friends says this is so crazy coz we barely know is each other and he can be a serial killer or something like that. Honestly, I don’t think he is…but I will take care that he won´t steal my kidneys.

My lectures are going so so. Today I got 70 (of 100) in my project about my Thesis and on Thursday at 7am I must talk to the class about pragmatism, so I need to study. Anyway, I shouldn’t worry about what those kiddoes in my classes may think about me. I’m myself and my circumstances. I will work tomorrow afternoon about this class so later I can talk to my teacher to ask him to be my assessor for my Thesis.

Tonight I saw Oct. He didn’t see me. I always think what I would do if I meet you face to face again. He looked so good. Damn. I really envy his girlfriend but meanwhile I’m about having a love affair with a foreigner lol …. Life is not bat at all. I’m sure we will spend great time. If we have nice time we will meet again. I’m pretty excited and it’s good coz I don’t think he is the love of my life or anything just a friend to have fun with lol. I think we are very much alike.

This is like a movie. I cant believe is happening to me but it’s nice and I will enjoy it.

About my job, It’s  not so bad. My boss brought me some cake. Last Friday was her birthday and I gave her some gifts. I guess she liked them. She is so nice but unfourtunatly my time there is going fast, just one month and some day and my time day will be over.

Life goes fast… please enjoy it.
A friend told me today that we are on Earth to suffer (his religion point of view). What kind of shit is that?. I won’t believe it. If there is a God sure don’t want us to suffer. So, let’s  be happy.

I’m going to be very happy this weekend.

I have been a little bit crazy these last days. I though I was in love with Andrew but now I realize I’m not lol. During my weekend trip I was thinking about him and how much I wanted to talk to him. When I came back home and saw him online the magic disappeared. He doesn’t mean that much for me. It’s strange. I’m not eager to meet him now.

In a week he will be here and I wonder: what for? To see my lovely face? Haha I don’t think so. In order to have a love affair?. May be. I don’t know what we will be doing. I will pick him up in the airport. Oh my god. I’m nervous.

My friend Pete says this is a crazy and dangerous plan but I don’t think Andrew is dangerous lol. I hope so. Anyway, If I never write again and you never see me online again it will mean Andrew was dangerous lol.

I also have been confused. We have 2 hours of time difference so when for me its midnight for him is just 10pm. So, it fucks me that I’m giving him my time (my precious time to study or sleep) and then suddenly he says: oh.. I have to go to eat. Looooool.

I couldn’t finish my homework yesterday coz I was talking to him. But I realized that he is not a priority in my life. Oh yes, I love talking to him but he mustn’t put me in the center of his life and neither do I. What are we after all? I guess some kind of friends lol.

So, I made up my mind. I won’t fall in love with him. I won’t put him in the center of my life. Because, after all, he lives in another country 3.5 hours away by plane for me, we speak different languages, and we have a complete different life. He already has what he wants and I just starting to live my own life and I can’t have strings to attach me.

He says that right now I’m everything that he needs. Right now, but later who knows. I’m glad he doesn’t mean that much for me now. I wonder how our weekend together will be. Will we have a good weekend? Our online chemistry will be real in person?. What if I fall in love?

I’m so scared of falling in love. I don’t wanna fall into another silly long distance relationship and he said the same one day: “after this weekend, we could meet in another place, travel together; you can spend a long time in my city, etc”. He let me know he wasn’t into a long distance relationship.

What will happen to me after that weekend? I don’t know. He hasn’t told about his weekend trip to anybody coz it’s crazy. I’m over Andrew and yes, I have forgotten Sib.

Now, I can say I’m still fucked up in my lessons lol. I guess I should worry more about this.

Suddenly, I was just with Tatis and a german girl started talking to me. And she asked me: are you from here?. Me: this city? or this country? Lol. She was also drunk. She asked me where the traditional thing was and I said: in the cemetery. She said: so you people only come here to get drunk?. Me: ja, ja, German girl, you are smart and high lol.

Suddenly, Naye started crying coz her uncle died some weeks ago. I was like: fuck me!!! Can’t I enjoy being drunk a bit? (I had to calm her down). Hmm, I don’t know why me if she was not even my friend but you know… so this is the picture of that moment: me drunk trying to make another drunk girl feel better. Hahaha.

Later, Monica was crying. Oh my god!!! So, here I go again. Drunk Sam making everybody feel better. Moni was sad coz she has been in love with Peter since 8 years ago. I told him: girl, Pete is my brother but you must get over him, you are a great girl and deserve someone who loves you. She was a bit better, but she kept crying in the ferry back to the land.

That night we came back to our hostel at 5am. I opened my sleeping bag and jumped to bed.  Bye everybody. I woke up at 8:20 am. Moni told me I did something bad Sam. She was telling me last night that Peter and Naye were boyfriends or something. So, that night Moni went to the bathroom and heard some noises. she decided to open the door and found them having sex!!! They closed the door fastly. Later, Mini apologized to Naye and she told Moni: if your relationship with Pete didn’t work …let him alone.

My poor girl!!! Imagine seeing the boy you love with another woman having sex hahaha that’s not good at all. I hope Moni will forget Pete soon. But what it’s true is that our team is broken coz Moni can’t and mustn’t meet Pete anymore. Such is life. We won’t travel together anymore but I told Moni she will always be my friend and that I love her so much. =)

 About Andrew I was very exciting to going back home and talk to him online. But when we did it, it wasn’t so exciting. =( He is coming in 9 days. I’m scared of falling in love with him coz I don’t want a stupid long distance relationship nor does he. I suppose he just want a weekend affair even though he says it would be nice to meet me again after this weekend. Who knows, he’d like me going to meet him in his city.  This is so complicated. Why do I make things so difficult? Why can’t I meet a guy near my home?  

My friends say I must be smart and careful about Andrew coz it’s kinda strange he is coming so fast. We haven’t talked even for a month. But I guess it’s not that bad we will be in my country, he doesn’t know the language well but he has been here before and I told him I was going to X city the weekend we met online so he said he wants to take me there coz he has been there before and he would be my guide lol … isn’t that strange?

What if he will steal my kidney? :-S any advice?

I forgot. Yesterday I ate some fast food that I bought and the fast food boy was making conversation with me. He asked me what I was studying and my name. I gave him fake answers lol. I said my name was Daniela and that I studied law. He said: yes girl, keep studying or you will finish like me (being a fast food girl lol).